Thankya Jesus

Have you ever heard that accepting generosity is a compliment to the person who offers it? I'm thinking that ties into a sense of self-worth: the more easily you can accept someone's generosity, the more in tune you are with your worthiness, your simple worth as a person.

Since this blog is an experiment in exploration, henceforth we shall commence with the Thank You Catalog. An exploration in practice, a practice of thanks...

Since I was in high school, I imagined the day I would be able to give thanks to everyone who ever helped me in my life. The fantasy usually took place from the podium at the Oscars, statue in hand, cameras rolling. Then it was a huge party. This is what I'll do, I would think. When I make it big I'll throw a huge party and invite everyone who ever meant something to me, believed in me, wanted me to do well and supported me in my desires and endeavors...Of course this means I have to make it big for people to finally know what they mean to me. No pressure.

I think the fantasy came from such a small view of myself that I wanted people to see I deserved it ("see what I did with your help?") I wanted to show them their kindness wasn't wasted on me.

Well...you know how when you save money bit by bit, it adds up and before long your sitting atop piles of green? Lets call the Thank You Catalog the savings account of thank yous. Slip in a 50, and watch it grow. Then, one night if I'm standing there at the Oscars podium after all, dolled up and weightlifting a gold statue, I can just say, "read the blog amigos!"

The inaugural Thank You Catalog entry honors Janey Jane, who, in the gathering of momentum that launched me out of our city and into my dream--playwriting school in New York--gave me $400 for a used leather jacket she may never have "bought" in the first place had it not been for her love, belief in me, support of my dream, and passion for the person I was and friendship we had. Janey Jane and I are still the sweetest of friends and I have many many things to thank her for. But that teeny little act of kindness that took all of 90 seconds to transact accompanies me to this day when I think about people and moments in my life for which I am grateful and full of love.