Traffic

This has been a week of traffic. Two weeks of traffic. Pink vapory joy on the road of life, so, good traffic, like a line of drivers on laughing gas, but traffic nonetheless, of opportunity and ideas and possibility, riding down the road bumper to bumper, passing and weaving through lanes of friends and writing gigs and bright ideas.

Election season doesn't hurt. Nor the transformation in the air. Had lunch with Suzy today, who never fails to make me laugh. When talking about caustic political email forwards she had received from a few family members, she marveled at whether they realized who they were forwarding them to, and said: Can you guys please vote NO on Prop 8, so I have at least the same opportunity as every other person in my family to get divorced twice??

If a Tree Falls

Is this tree falling in the forest?

Anonymous said...
Morning coffee. Freezing rain. Procrastinating the work I have to do. One of those whimsical mornings when you decide to Google people from your past you've lost touch with. Just to see... Now an hour or so later, I've read your whole blog. So much struck me, but this post struck me the most. Am I one of those guys? Maybe... sort of. I've often wondered, and often regretted having not said or done more, but especially regret having let you down. I am truly sorry.

I'm a little sideways at the irony. It's anonymous.
I can't recount the men who have peed on my shoes and trotted off to the next tree. It's the pee trot. The tree trot. But thanks for the apology, Stranger.

Ex-hilarating

I met Allen on Match.com. Doofy pic for what turned out to be such a handsome guy, but his ad was funny and original. Got me engaged. Said something like "Choose your meta-ad," and he had five small ads in one, all clever and appealing...little bitta intellectual, whole lotta dork.

So last weekend, it's 2am, I can't sleep. I'm cruising Craigslist and I see "Choose the ad you like best - 34." I think, "Don't look at it Pema, it'll piss you off," when I realize, wait, I'm looking at the "Women Seeking Men" section. His ad wouldn't be here. So I look at it. Dude, it IS his ad, copied and pasted by a woman, and filled in to match her specifics. What are the chances of that?? Of me seeing that?

I did what any self-respecting dumpee would do. Assumed Allen's identity and wrote to her fawning over the fate of us meeting this way. We're meeting next weekend.

Just kidding. I did forward the ad to Allen, though.

Yes, I realize I may be an instrument in their fate.

Stupid Fuckers

Buttons and Biscuit are a lesbian couple I know trying to get pregnant. I know, you thought they were a jazz duo or a plantation lullaby. Nope. Just a couple trying to bake a bun.

They do run in accomplished circles, however. And they've been getting a few calls lately from straight friends that have turned up pregnant. Oopsy daisy style.

Buttons has her cycle down to a personal science. She can feel it when her womb so much as looks sideways at a pickle jar. So on her off days, Buttons is pretty pissed that her Ivy League astrophysicist type girlfriends can launch a rocket but can't for the life of them figure out how they got pregnant.