Ever follow the white rabbit?
In Dreamtending, you follow the characters/images in your dream to gain some understanding of them. This is the story of a symbol that I followed into my waking hours, and back to dream again. In the Dreamtending way, I'll describe it in present tense, without pronouns or articles.
I dream I am dreaming. I am sleeping in R.V., on stiff, brown, wool flannel divan. Outside window in dream within dream is dirt plaza, one side obscured by one wall. I awake to look out into plaza and see photographer taking photo of man leaning against wall in front of him. My eyes follow camera lens. It is Michael. Looking at me even from this distance, sunlight in face and eyes, with smirk and when-ya-gonna-notice-me look. Michael wears green sweater and white shirt collar. I reach him with outstretched arms, bury my face in his neck and hug him. He hugs me with same fervor. He knows something I do not. Protects me with what he knows.
THEN:
Close-up inside open refrigerator. Someone pulls out pink wine. I call wine Zin.
That's it.
Next day, at work, in passing, I see something about a zinfandel and my dream comes back momentarily. Later, at lunch, I am strolling past Cost Plus and decide to go in to see the sale furniture they're advertising on the window. Next to the furniture is a wine display with a funny name: zinfatuation. Before I walk off, my dream comes to me again. I figure what the hell. It's the second time Zin has crossed my path today, I'll buy it just to see where it leads. At the register, there is a tiny blue book called "Dreams." I smile, figure I'm on the right track, and walk out with my mystery bottle of Zinfatuation.
At home, I open the wine at dinner--I don't usually drink wine with dinner. I was just following through with the whole trajectory. I told Lisa and Tania the story of the bottle while opening it...and we toasted to dreams. Then, Lisa wanted to tell me something. She said, I know dreams are often about yourself when you dream them, but a few nights after Michael died, he came to me in a dream. He said everything was going to be fine. And to tell you that. I didn't want to tell you, it's kinda weird. But since you're talking about dreams, I thought I'd tell you.
I followed the white rabbit, or the bottle of zin, and it led me back to the message my dream had for me, in the plaza, hugging the man who knew everything would be alright.
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When my dad died, I decided to stay with my Mom for a few days. I crashed on the couch, and that first night, I had something that was half a dream and half a vision. I say that because I've had a couple of these in my life... these pokings of my head through the veil. I was on the couch in the same place, the same position I was sleeping in. The room was exactly the same as it was in my waking state, but the only difference was that my dad was there and there was a light that filled the entire room. He was sitting on the floor, looking at me. He came up, sat beside me and hugged me and I began to cry. Then I "woke" up, which simply involved me opening my eyes. Everything was as it was in my "Dream", except that the light was gone, and so was my dad.
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