Law Abiding

I think I learned an unspoken physical law of the universe. I was reading my bitch book when it finally occurred to me that this coy peek-a-boo of a mating ritual we adult humans dance is indeed real. As much as I have abhorred reading this tripe, I suddenly got that I am dancing it too, with my feathers and foot-stamps and fluttery fa la la.

Oh, but it's true.

During this long dating run (who said you had to train for a marathon--this marathon IS the training), I've found it curious that the people I really liked cut out early. And those I didn't have feelings for thought I was the coolest most amazing fabulation conflagration.

There was a guy who swooned, actually swooned, when we kissed (that I wasn't swooning wasn't okay). There was a guy who professed his effulgent heart maybe three weeks in. Then there are the immediate WE-talkers..."We'll have to do that someday..." said, like, on the first date. All of these people had WE-talk in common. I raise an eyebrow at immediate WE-talk.

So here I am reading about how to bump up my bitch and I realize that everything the author's been telling us in this book about MEN is true for ME. She's saying, "play it cool and they'll come running." And it's not that I have played it hot or urgent or needy with the folks I've liked. But I haven't played it COY. And if MY attraction habits are any indication of the rule, it's the COY we go after! Naturally, the guys I've had less interest in have met with the long arm of not-so-fast-there-mister. And they've gone crazy for me. Yet the guys I've thought were cool enough to open up with were the ones who sang sayonara as they escaped out the back. Interesting. F'ing ridiculous, but intriguing if you're willing to let it.

Alright. Now. Who can I ignore? Ah yes, the new guy. Who cares if he likes the damn purse.